embrace it All.

When I was pregnant with Gracie I Embraced every minute of it,
Even when I was pregnant an couldn't stand the smell of certain things or eat things I loved. Not every woman is Blessed enough to grow a Child inside of her.
An so when I hear Women complain about their pregnancy or bitch about everything it Urks me because how blessed are these women who are able to create an hold life inside of them for 9 months but they complain about it??

Now yes every situation Might be different but Life is life.
You embrace that life you created.

I love an embrace my child.

Humble

Maybe its just Watching the sun rise everyday or maybe its the smells of the flowers Blooming...

When I hear talkin', I just don't know what to make of it
Hate is so familiar to me, I'm slowly embracing it
Doesn't come natural, bear with me it could take a bit

my dreams are who I'm racing with
You can see I'm pacin' it so that I'm always chasin' it
I hope that my success never alters our relationship








I try an to stay Very Very Humble in All situations, see I'm trying to be a BETTER person.

Hold up,Hold Up . . . . I didn't say I was perfect.

I want something I'm going to make it Happen.

There's no Reason to be jealous of someone just because they are working hard for what they want or they are blessed with Opportunities. This is one thing I can't stand!!
Like why can't people just be HAPPY that someone is moving up in life.

They look at me a certain way now,because I'm doing better than they could have ever been I'm far from perfect just like everyone I know.

black sheep Bahhhh.

Growing up I just wanted someone to acknowledge all the "GOOD" I do.
I strive for the best everyday, I strive to be a Better Mother,a Better wife.


I have feelings to!

I like to refer Myself as a Black sheep of the Family.
I've always been treated a little different...... Did I say a Little...
I meant a lot.

I held a lot of Bitterness, Confusion, Maybe Anger,a Hint of Jealousy.
We have what you call the "Golden Child" in our family an one of those Golden child was My Oldest brother,No Matter how much wrong he did He was NEVER wrong.

As a young child I never understood,

What's wrong with me?
Why am I being treated differently?

Its just a cycle in our family.

Once I got Married I decided that I was just going to let it all go,
I'm turning 21 I'm not going to let the past take over me, man I've never felt so damb weak,
Once I realized I literally let this take over me.

I have to be able to control My life, not let my life control me.
I'm no longer in competition with someone who's suppose to be My Sibling.
I will not fight for someone to love or care about me,I figure I don't need someone to tell Me there proud of me when I'm proud of my self!
I'm proud of where I am at today!
I am proud that I am young an Independent, I work everyday for what I want in life.
I work hard to stay independent, I refuse to Fail an when you come to a point in your life when your tired of being the same you will change

Even if no one Acknowledges All My Good,I'm still Good.

a Letter To Mom.

So almost 5 paragraphs got deleted but you know what maybe it was for the best.
Let's start over......









Mom,I hope someday you are Proud of me.
I hope one day I make you proud to say "That's My Daughter"
Mom Despite everything we've been through,I don't hold anything against you.
I understand that no one is perfect,I understand that being left with 2 kids wasn't easy.
I remember the good days an I live off those,I wish I can take the pain away,its a struggle everyday for me to not have the Relationship I want with you.
I remember when I was younger we would write letters to each other an read them.
Writing took all my feelings an emotions away.

Mom I have Faith that one day,you will be strong an dig deep an Find an Repair your Heart because in Reality only you can.
I love you so much an you mean the world to me,one day I will buy you a Big comfy house,a Nice Car. An give you the world.
I promise to always work hard an Never give up on myself.
I promise to always be the best mother an always improve on Motherhood.

Growing up with a parent who has a Addiction is Never Easy,it truly sucks that this happens everyday. I could never ever till this day uunderstand how women an men can choose drugs over there child? How can you look you child in the eyes an continue to ruin your child's life.

I have always told my self to not be weak,to always stay focused on My Daughter create a bond that not even drugs can Break. Nothing nor no one can ever over come our Relationship, my daughter will forever come first because she's My Life. I control My life,My life Does not control me.

Xoxo-Marissa

oh Hi There.

You Know when you finally get a Taste of Being Happy you'll refuse to have Anybody in your life that will take that away.
Happy has never felt any better than this,
To work for what you'll have is a Truly Amazing Feeling,yes maybe sometimes it sucks to wake up before the sun does but it feels awesome to pay bills an Buy the things we want an need.
I never have to worry about someone saying "You have this or that Because of me"
Everything I have an everything we get, "WE" work for it.
We work in order to stay Independent.

Paying Our Bills, Never Felt so Good.

I've learned so much on My Own..
An the First thing was to learn to be Happy,Disconnecting from Toxic People.
Being Happy for me is to live simple, Stay Huble an Always smile.

The MAN that CHANGED EVERYTHING.

Now for me Growing up I seen a A lot of Physical an Emotional Abuse towards My mom,an I never could wrap My Brain around Why or how she can stay with a so called MAN as long as they abused her??
With that being I held a lot of Anger towards men,How can men do this? How is this OK?

I always thought of Men to be a Violent Breed of Species,I mean come on how can I NOT,I didn't know there was any other kind.
Little did I know the Things I would see an Hear as a child/Preteen would soon Affect My Adult life. I do believe what I saw as a child affected the way I see men,an My Standards for,men.

After Growing up an Entering My adult hood i just knew i didn't want the Kind of LOVE i seen My family had,


I didn't really know what love was Until I got Pregnant.
A younger,Smarter,Faster ME.
The most amazing feeling I feel, words can't describe the feeling for real.
My Greatest creation was Gracie.

I got this emotion in body,a feeling like . . .  I knew I couldn't live with out this little girl next to me,I wanted everything for her,I never wanted her to Feel Sadness,I never wanted her to worry about Anything,i just want to Protect Her forever.
 So this is what love feels like?
Holding My daughter I felt this 4 letter word Love..
Wow love feels pretty amazing if you ask me?!!

Now Back to MEN;


Than I met My Husband💏💏💏💑💑💑💑.
The Man that would Change EVERYTHING.
All My worries, All My Anger, Hurt ,Broken Pieces.
He Put Together,Richard Made me Realize that there are men that will love you.
That won't hurt you,Men that do want a Family an will do Anything to keep you happy.
In My Case,It was hard to trust because everything I had seen an Heard growing up this was to good to be true.
Richard has changed My Daughters life along with mine forever,
Sometimes I have a Hard time expressing My love,
I thought Yelling an Arguing was A normal kind of love.
Little did I know.....

Learning to love a Man,has been harder than I thought.
But the feeling you get when its Right is Undescribable❤💙.


So now with being almost 21,Married,a Mother,Employed.
I have to constantly remind My Myself "Marissa You are not your Mother,"
I have to break this vicious cycle,Reality Struck. .
An I refuse to be like EVERYONE ELSE.

I am the one to make it Happen, I live for My Daughters an Husband smile an we are going to make it with or without anyone else.

It takes a lot to try an get out of a constant cycle that's been in your family forever,

#GetRight #BreakTheCycle #ImTheOne.








I love you Richard❤

Whos Wrong an Whos Right?

I feel like when people say Being Married isn't no different than a regular relationship are Crazy. Being Married is very different on Many levels!
This Man your about to Marry, you will forever wake up next to him every morning an you  will Lay Next to everynight.
When you get married you Vow To be everything to this Man,You vow to hold him down through thick an than. Its more than just a ring an a Pieace of Paper.

I knew that I wanted a Marriage different than anyone in My Family.
I know, No Marriage is Perfect,I won't sit an Say Our Marriage IS.
We have a lot to Learn an work on,were growing as a Married Couple an we understand that it will get better but we have to make that happen,we have to create the life we want.

Richard an I can Disagree,not talk to each other for a few hours but at the end of the day we still want to lay our heads next to each other.

Till Next time Xoxo 🌻 Marissa.