welcome to Kinder!

I'm not sure if all parents feel this way but Oh my gosh the first week of school 

I was in complete shock and such a emotional wreck.

I quickly caught on to our new schedule,

And of course being that first time mom I always imagined how the first day of school would play out. 

What would she wear?

How should I do her hair?

What do I make for breakfast?

Lunch?

Nice Warm fluffy French toast filled my Baby girls tummy as we drove to school!

Wearing my sunglasses and quickly wiping my face so she couldn't see my tears running down my cheeks.

so we pull up to her school and I look in my rear view mirror and she's so excited,

And I ask her are you ready mama,ready to go to school...

She's says Yes, so Happy and excited!

so we got out the car and we held hands and the whole time My chest is in my stomach!

My heart is beating Fast!

I'm trying to hold back my tears so she doesn't see me all upset!

And I see her looking around and a little worried and I bend down and take my glasses off and say baby girl you are going to do just fine and I can't wait to hear all about your day after school I'll be right at the gate when you get out, I love you! 

And she smiled and said I know mom I love you to!

The doors open!

Off she goes!

An I just started crying uncontrollably lol!

But! 

She didn't see that so I guess I did ok lol 

I remember growing up and entering Elementary we always had things like science fairs,book fairs and of course I was in cheer lol.

I remember my mom and step dad always came to things like this and was so involved.

An now as a adult as a mother&wife I'm making it a priority to do the same with my daughter because I know the positive effects it has.

To have both a mommy and daddy there.

For some reason I can't forget this one science fair I must have been in the 4/5 grade and we had to create all the planets and color them,I remember my step dad thought it would be so cool to get fruity scented color markers!! So we created this poster with the solar system and as we enter the cafeteria we smell up the whole place!!!!!! 

Grape mostly what I remember and I'm not sure why I can't forget that! Lol!

But we had such a great time,and it's memories like this that I want to create with my child.

I remember my step dad making breakfast and running us to school because we were late because he couldn't get my hair in a good ponytail, now here I am with my own little girl who doesn't like ponytails lol 

Welcome back !

Hey guys sorry I've been like MIA
But here's why!

We don't realize how co dependent we are with Social Media, an not just social media I mean the Technology World! It's crazy the width drawls someone can have.

Being off the internet has given me some time to find my self,

 I needed a break,

 I needed this soul searching! 

I realized how much I depended on social media, I mean let's be honest we post a picture to get likes,

We post a status to get feed back and we as Humans Thrive off this shit.

I felt like I NEEDED other people to boost my self esteem,Not that I have a self esteem Problem I just like that extra boost! 

I felt like I NEEDED some kind of Validation! I don't know why?!!

Social media has broken me into pieces and has pulled me in every direction possible!

I Really just needed a mental break from Technology! 

I needed to see what was real,

I needed to see the life outside social media.

I had to find my balance.

But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong.

I've shared so much with you guys and I have about 4k views and counting,

And Night after Night and Many sleepless night I have I come to My Blog and I just sit and stare at a blank screen....... What do I write about today? Do I even feel like writing? I've literally shared my life with complete strangers but yet feel at peace.
But something so heavy,so heavy My heart can't even hold,I'm trying to understand why! Why my family! Why My Nana! Why!
Something that was so small turned all our life's upside down!
Angry Because I don't understand!
Sad because I don't know what to expect!
All I can do is cry!
Cry in Fear!
Cry in Not understanding!
I'm mad! Why my nana! She works her ass off to help other people,she saves life's so why make her fight for hers?
Why would God do this to her? To us! To our Family!
Many sleepless nights I find my self up,and awake curled in a ball crying! Trying to be positive,trying to find some peace!
My nana holds a special place in My life! She saved me from my childhood when I needed! My dads family was always there for me,to comfort me. Those nights I would stay up late just to be picked up after her late night shift at the hospital,or her always making sure that I had school clothes.
Just looking back I'm just feeling it.
I'm just feeling some type of hurt,what can I do? What can I do to take this off my heart it's so heavy and I just can't even think of the future. I can't imagine loosing my nana!
I have never ever lost any of my grandparents,great grand parents! And this is crushing my soul!
To know that someone who saves life's on a daily basis is now on a Battle to save her own life!!
I guess I'm feeling guilty,guilty for all the times I acted like a Brat! Because I didn't get MY way!
All the times I was selfish at Christmas! When I should have just been grateful for my nana being here with me! All the times she spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on me and I was mean and ungrateful!

When I write it takes all My Pain! 
All My feelings and emotions,are right here! This is REAL!

A Letter to My Nana!

You can't imagine the love I have for you Nana,
All the sleepless nights you have had with me when I was sick!
Or all the money you ever spent on me when I needed things.
The love you gave me when both my parents weren't there,you taught me how to play the guitar,all the times we would sing and make songs.
All the cats and dogs we have shared! Bear,lilly,Snowball! My favorites!
Or passing the railroad tracks and coming up to see all the horses!
You impacted my life so much and I love you dearly,and I just want to apologize.
Apologize for all the years I was selfish and didn't even know it.
I'm sorry for being ungrateful and not saying thank you.
I love you so much and I can't imagine My Life with out you nana,that's why we must fight this! We must fight till we have no more fight in us.
I'm having such a hard time nana,this news is crushing Me,I don't know how to deal with this or what to think? I know you say you will be alright,but I'm afraid! I'm afraid of this journey! I will be by your side no matter what,and make sure your alright and I'll take care of you.

I love you Nana,
Always Your Princess.

If the shoe fits 😂

An yes I understand all families might have this going on,but please help me understand..
They say family is everything,family sticks together,family always..
But what if family is the Main Problem?
What If family is what is bringing you down!?
Misery does love it's company!
I honestly feel once your truly happy in life and where you are at in your life you won't have time for anything else or anyone else's drama!
I refuse to let anyone bring me down,or whatever else they come up with !
See if you don't like something in your life CHANGE IT,If you don't like someone in your life Remove them from it.only you have Control of your life,and what you allow will continue.

Never ever could I wrap my brain arouns this...
How siblings could be so evil towards each other like as if you are enemys,yes I don't speak to my brother for my own reasons,see it's simple Remove what you don't like out your life.
I taught my self that,Never ever will I allow Gracie To become a UGLY soul !
And never will I teach her that what I will teach her is what is right and what is wrong.
See My Moms,sister and Brother lack Compassion,respect,loyalty they never had that so they can't teach it or show it. but what is that teaching the last generation?
To be enemies with your own family,talk down on each other !!
Honestly who wants that in a Family?
Who wants to be around a person like that?
Not me!
Do you?


I brought a Child into this world at 16 and never once have I allowed this crap around her, we don't need no one like this in our life I simply don't feel the need to talk to anyone in my family due to ugly behavior,act like a adult not a outta control teen.

It's NOT always about family because family can be pure Jealous and hatful an misery loves its company,I've come to the point in my life to accept the fact that some family members will always dislike you,they will always Be jealous or hateful! Everyone wants you to do good but never better than them,an once you succeed above and beyond that's when the hate Kicks in!

Raise your self to be someone,raise your self with Respect!

If that's one thing my mom sure did install in me is some  loyalty,compassion,an Respect!
Let's get something cleared also because this is My Family's favorite thing to throw out 
"that My Mothers addiction has ruined My Life"
I sure do live a Awesome life,no it ain't Perfect but my bills are paid,we have food and clean clothes an have steady jobs and cars. My Mom has Made me a strong Person! I've been to hell and back and look who I've become a Awesome Mother!
Striving for My Career!
Thanks mom,Your perfect.

Normal (Poem)

With Fire in My Veins,

And ice in My Heart,

Like ol ray I'm Blind.

In the land of Gods an monsters

I was angel living in a garden of evil.

Nothing I have ever experienced in my life has been easy but I try not to dwell on it. Normal is everything BUT My Life and somehow I just naturally accepted it.

As if Normal now a day is your parents hooked on drugs and your father in Prison all your childhood.

What is Normal?

Am I normal?

Or am I Normally Disturbed?

What's wrong with me?

Why am I this way? 

I can Hear her crying Over and Over in My Head..

I can hear her pain In her voice as she says I have no answer for you,but this to shall pass.

When!

When!

When will things go back to Our Normal?

Will it?

Will it?

Normal.

Normal is just a word fucked in different positions,Made to feel good when you say it or when you are called it.

 we all have our own Normal! 

But I . . .

I ...

I am FAR FROM NORMAL.

TTC!!!!!! 2015.

Things like this you often get judged upon

I know . .

I know . .

I Share so Many Personal Situations on My Blog, I'm very open and that's exactly what I want my blog to be about.

So here's something I'd like to share with all My Viewers.

A Little Back ground about us, I got off My Birth control in Early Nov.2013 due to Medical reason at that time  My Husband i talked a few times about children but never fully said OK let's try to conceive. In no way shape or form are we AGAINST becoming pregnant, Nor did we Ever use Protection I guess it was just one of those decisions that we did agreed on that we just want it to naturally happen,Rather Going through the whole TTC Process.

2014 We agreed that we just wanted to wait 1 more year, 2014 We faced a lot of challenges that hardly anyone knows about and we just wanted to make sure that once we made this LIFE CHANGING CHOICE that we were Ready.

Mentally,Physically,Financially,Emotionally.

2015 February 9.

its time,

Its Really time to just Focus on Us,Our Family!

What Makes us Happy,Yes I'm sure there will be Many People with Opinions, Many Family Members that will talk Garbage and Nonsense but None of that Matters.

 We are Married,

We Live on Our own,

Pay Our own Bills.

Who has the right to tell us when to conceive?

Who has the authority to tell us Other Wise?

So I guess what I'm trying to say is Today I want to welcome you all to a New Chapter, 

A new chapter in this blog,

A New Chapter in our Life.

Today I took My First HCG Home Pregnancy Test, as you can tell By The Photo Above it was a ( - ) and that is completely fine, We are aware that this will be a process We are aware it can take Weeks,Months,Years for others it might be Quick for others its Very different.

So our plan for 2015 is to Test Every beginning of the Month also Depending on How My Cycle lands will also determine when I test.

Also tomorrow February 10 2015 will be the day I launch My YouTube channel, There you will be able to Follow Up with our Journey in TTC.

I'm excited,Nervous . .

A lot of emotions happening as I'm writing this Blog I've been making some life changes in order to bring My Anxiety and Stress level down so we can conceive ( My Doctor informed me that the big reason why we haven't conceived is Because My Stress An anxiety.

Why have I been distant,

Why I am eliminating certain people out of My Life,

Why I have changed?

I just feel such a different way about Life,like My Daughter is about to be 5 I feel like our family is ready for this Baby. We want to have a Healthy Pregnancy without any drama in our life. We want to have a Healthy support system and those who aren't, are no longer in our life.

So . . 

With that being said Our YouTube channel will follow our Good times and all the in between while TTC .

Tomorrow I will announce Our Channels Name FIRST ON INSTAGRAM FOLLOWING FACEBOOK.

Controversial Topics.

controversial topics

Sex.
Abortion.
Child Birth.
Adoption.


I would love to hear others views and Opinions on this topic as well.

So of course majority of people Claim to be against Abortions which is totally understandable.

And you have others who always throw comments out as far as " She's not a good mom,she doesn't deserve to have kids,"all she does is party!" 

Now when I hear people say these things what do they recommend that mother should have done "got a abortion? "Give her Baby up for adoption?"

I stand In question with what I currently believe in, I feel for Myself I could never ever get a abortion no matter what the circumstances are, an I would never be able to go through a pregnancy and at the end of birth hand My child over to Another family I just couldn't live with Myself doing something like that.

I understand that being a parent isn't for everyone, but at the same Time you have to want to be a good Parent,you have to constantly be consistent on your self to do good for your child.

Some Mother's become a parent really young and have to give up a lot like there teen years and adult hood,some women aren't ready to live the life of a mother,so what do we judge her for making that Statement? Or judge her because of what she feels? Who are we to judge anyone ? What gives us that right?

So ask your self where do you stand?

For me I'm learning not to judge someone based on decisions they made for them self's at the moment when needed to.

We Cant judge someone because they felt like getting a abortion or adoption was right for them at that point in there life.

being at peace,

 

My Mind Wonders at night an gets lost in the thoughts of what you are doing? 

Did you get to eat?

The things you do just to make ends meet,

I pray that God, keeps you warm an always protects you from the storms.

I really haven't known who you are for quite a while,

But I try to act tough so I force this fake smile.

I want My Mother Back!

You love someone else way more than me,Her name is Crystal Meth and I don't think she'll ever set you free,

I want My Mother Back!

She's had you in her hands for about 10 years,But all of those years are nothing compared to my fear.

I want My Mother Back!

Fear of you lying

Fear of you dying

Fear of having so much faith in you and just being left crying.

I want My Mother Back!

You wrote me letters when i was growing up,promising me you would change,but some how ,some way, you are just set in your own ways.

I want My Mother back!

You've told me to my face that it was drugs over me,

Even that wasn't enough to make me see.

I want My Mother Back!

When you are clean,You give me so much hope, then tomorrow it's the same ole' dope phen.

I want My Mother Back!

Everything i say This comes from my heart and every word of it's true,im not sure how to express my self to you so ill just write My soul out to you,like ol times,

I want My Mother back!

I do thank you so much for one thing,Thank you for showing me how important a good mother should be. 

And to never show my children the pain that you showed me.

"but i love you mom.

Don't get me wrong mom, i do love you,an i thank you for being the best mom You Possibly could be.

"I still love you.

But today I officially set myself free,Because I know there's a stronger woman in me.

I love you mom.

parenting,123

Co-Parenting obviously isnt for everyone.

I thought i had this whole parenting ordeal down,but im constantly learning new things everyday.

One thing that My Daughter has taught me is to be Patient, Kind,&Still.

I've learned to let things play out,not in My timing But in our gods timing.

On New Years of 2013 i told Myself,that its not about ME,Dispite how i feel towards Gracies dad its still her Dad.

So i chose to put everything aside, i chose to give him that chance, by this time we were back in forth in the court system fighting custody,visitation, an Child support. 

Things always just seem to fall off with her dad,we argued about everything, 

From Gossip to how we Parent Gracie. 

As time passed i fought for Full sole,physical custody an i won .

So lets Fast foward,

Gracies Dad saw her a few months ago here in town,for about 2 hours.

Than him an his Family moved to the next town over,i still offered visitations,with the understanding that being consistent is what is needed for our daughter.

Somewhere in between our daily lifes he fell off,

Now granted we both work an our schedule was different i always made time if he would,but he never,( now with me having custody,i legally dont have to let him visit, see,or talk with gracie but i choose to.)

Well i tried to.

No calls,

No visits,

No text messages? 

Nothing. 

Gracies dad just stopped.

To be exact, most of the time our communication went through his Girlfriend. 

Why?

I don't know. 

Alot of the reason why Gracies Dad an i did not get along is because. .

I don't think he ever wanted to have a child with me,he didn't have no interest, nor intentions on being her Father considering that we were never in a relationship, we were never serious about eachother, a simple 2 year fling turned into "your in my life forever."

Yes it can be very hard 99.99% of the time because as a Mother i hate to see him do this to our daughter,i hate that he gave up on his first child like that.

But in all Honesty, i believe everything happens for a reason ..

 i no longer dwell on what can't be changed.

I do not talk bad about her dad,because my daughter sees things for her self,

My Daughter knows who is here an whos not.

My Daughter will find out when shes old enough, why her Dad an His family is Not in her life.

I don't have to negatively speak on her Dad,his actions are speaking louder than My words ever will.

Gracie might not have her Biological dad in her life, but My Husband has been there for Gracie when she needed a daddy,Gracie is turning 5 years old! Shes growing up!

Our Families love an care for her more than anyone can imagine, an when the time comes i will not lie to her about who her Dad an who her FATHER is.

Domestic Violence,

This brought me to tears,

Hearing this little girl cry for help an screaming because her mom is being abused! 

I remember as a child growing up i seen alot of Domestic violence an would scream for My neighbors help an No one would help Us! No one called the police!

It was a regular thing for our household to go through this!

I remember i couldnt wait till i was old enough to move out,an never have to hear the sounds of My Mothers Screaming or see the vicious men slamming there fist against her!

http://goingviralposts.net/hard-listen-6-year-old-girl-call-911-not-cry/

confusion

The hardest thing is to watch someone distroy them selfs.

As if they were never born,

As if they never exsited.

My heart aches,

But My Tears are tired.

I never thought would come this point in my life,

That i give up, 

I give up......

I give up trying to save you, when you won't save your self.

I give up crying for you when you never shed a tear for me.

What about me!

What about how i feel!

Im hurt,

Im angry,

Im frustrated, 

Maybe i am.

duh.

I feel everything deeply 

Not just emotions,but intentions,

Vibes,

Judgements, 

Lies.

Someone asked me why do you only blog about your husband an Child.

Um hello,

Because #1 this is My Website. . Like Bye lol

An because #2 My Daughter an Husband are My Biggest blessings. 

Marriage is Beautiful when your in love an with the right Man.

Being a Mother is Beautiful. 

Both have changed My life in ways that are unexplainable. 

Ive been a wife for almost 1 year.

An ive been a Mother for almost 5 years.

Like duh,i have alot to say about them both ahaha.

white tiger

Ive learned that in life everything,
You Do!
Everything 
You Say!
Every action will reflect on your life!

Like dont tell me i dont deserve what i have because "whatever Reason you come up with"
Like quit feeling sorry for your self!
Quit making excuses 
Quit making a Reason why you cant do it!
An just do it!

Despite the way i grew up an how both my parents were!
That did not reflect on my life to the point where it controlled me.
I Control My life!
I Control every movement!

Dont sit an tell me my past Owns me!
My past aint shit,My Past is a simple stepping stone to where im at today!
Everyone has a struggle,
I Happen to trust mine an went with the flow an became a better person!

Ive learned i cant make everyone happy,
An i no longer try to.

Because in the end the only person that needs to be happy are your children, spouse,an Your self of course. 
I know Myself better than anyone,
An No ones Words, nor opinion will hurt me.
Like i sleep Great Every night thank you.

Silent night.

-2 corinthians 1-4 

So i made up my mind that i would not make another painful visit to you.

For if i grieve you,

who is left to make me Happy but you...

whom i grieved? 

I wrote As i did so that when i arrived i would not be distressed by those who ought to make me rejoice. 

I had confidence in all of you,

that you would share my joy. 

For i wrote you out of Great distress an anguish from my heart,

with many tears!

Not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.

Tell it like it is

If its one thing i want to teach my daughter.

Its to always respect her Self,an her Siblings,

Its so ugly to see family disrespect eachother,

Unfortunately its something i see way to often,

Im not raising My daughter with hate in her Heart,

Or to be Rude&+disrespectful to others.

An if that means i have to remove people out of her life that shows that kind of behavior...

So be it.

Its hard to teach something so beautiful,when the world is such a ugly place.

God Gave Me You.

i love it when you run your fingers through my rugged hair,

I love it when you call me beautiful and compliment me so,

I love it when you seem confused as you don't know,

I love the way you stare at me and look into my eyes,

My heart gets so heavy and deep that all the time just flies,

I love the way you kiss me so gentle you lips so calm,

I love the way you hold my hand and rubb your fingers against my palm,

I love it when you wrap your arms around me,the way that I felt,

When you stare me down and hug me tight I just want to melt,

I love your beautiful smile everytime I see it I want to faint,

Your laugh is so soothing it heals me like you're a saint,

I love the way you whisper to me when someone is nearby,

I love it when you say sweet things that make me want to cry,

I love the way you look at me with that cute little puppy face,

It seems as if you are so sad or simply out of place,

I love the way you are so confident in everything you do,

                                 but most of all out of everything I love you for being you!

-Richard when we feel in love it was so unexpected,

Our relationship has been Anything but Casual or Convenient.

We have had many times when the Circumstances seemed impossible.

But there was Never ever a time that i thought it would not be worth it.

This Relationship,Now Marriage.

Has changed the way i think about love,

An has shown me how love should be.

Richard our first year of Being together along with being Married has put us to the test.

We have struggled together,

Cried together,

Brainstormed together

&+Encourged each other.

When both our families put us in situations 

That seemed impossible to get around.

We did it.

When our families tried to Break us.

WE stuck together.

I know alot of people thought we would not make it,

Not everyone had Faith in us.

But My Dearest Husband we have come so far!

Look at all we have accomplished in this 1 year.

We Have Been Married.

We got Our first Home together.

Were getting our first House together.

Now to build our family,

Our Marriage is no where near perfect,

But i promise to always stick by your side

To love you through thick an thin

To always support you an never hold you back on chasing your dreams

i promise to always hug you at night,

An Remind you how Much i love you.

An never put alot of cheese in your Chili Rellenos.

I promise to love an care for you through sickness an Health.

God Has Blessed us.

Happy 1 year Anniversary I love you so much Richard.

May we always Strive in our marriage to be the best we can be.

-Mrs Lopez.

Frozen in Time.

When I blog I have to turn off all the lights

An Put on My Head Phones an Just tune out the world.

I have to Free My Mind,Relax an Write.

Im not sure I'll ever understand how the Universe works..

Its like . . 

The people who are caught up on Drugs ..

an Doing nothing with there life,Are those who need the attention.

An the people who work everyday an choose to have a Better life 

Are just ...

There...

Like.

Just There in the World....

let the games Begin.

                                  

Genesis 1:28 

Then God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground."

                                      Its almost a year of Relationship an Marriage for Richard an I.

I remember the first thing both our families told us,was to be careful an not have any children so soon.

WE never prevented pregnancy, we just decided as a couple that if it happen naturally it was fine with us.

My husbands Family didnt want us to have any children until we were married,

My Husbands Parents didnt even let us sleep in the same room together until we were married lol .

We wanted to do things different for our family, as a Newly Married Couple we wanted to work on our Marriage an Build this empire strong for our children.

We want to get right in life, 

In our marriage 

As People

As parents.

                                                                  Our Lifes our in a place where . . 

We worked hard to get them,Nothing an i mean Nothing was Handed to us.

My Husband an i work hard to give Our Daughter a Great Future.

An just in case i have New Readers My Husband is Not My Daughters Biological Dad.

But My Husband has stepped up Tremendously to be a Wonderful Father in Gracies Life.

next month will be a year that we have Been in a Relationship an Dec will be a Year of Marriage.

💞

An We have decided to expand Our Family,Now like i said ,

We never did anything to prevent Pregnancy, 

So Now we are currently Trying for a Baby😊

An By Trying I Mean we are set on Having a Baby Very Very Soon lol .

We already Have a Boy Name an a Girl name picked out

😘.

       

Finding Peace!!✌

Peace?

So much in My life has Happen lord Knows I need peace in My Heart

Scratch that

 in My Soul.!!

Forgiving people has never come easy to me.

Its always been that way

I feel like I can never forgive

Like My Father being Locked up Almost every Birthday I've ever had!

Or Both My Parent choosing thier Relationships over me.

Or My step dad Deciding to fuck My whole life up .

Everyone I ever cared about has impacted My life in ways I'll just never be able to change.

Now trying to find peace in My Heart to Forgive all these people have been tremendously Hard.

I've built memories with My Parents an Step Parents that Most the time is easier to forget than rather remember.

I had no choice to find peace with thin my self,

It would eat me alive if I didn't

Misery does love company

In my mind there was always a dark dark ugly place I never wanted to return to.

An it became easier to just get all these memories an emotions an keep them hidden from the world.

It than became a normal part of my life to just keep My Feelings Bottles up.

 I had a Ugly heart.

I did not want to be unhappy, Nor let people make me that way.

I knew I had to change an just get Right..

An I had to dig deep deep down an pull everything out,

So I started from the bottom an worked my way up 

Peace

Peace

Peace

Peace

Peace

Peace

Peace

Peace

Peace 

The list will go on 

I made changes in My life,

Started thinking for myself

Making things right

An I no longer worry about things I can not change.

Everyone who has every hurt me or fucked my life up 

Its OK I forgive you all..

Not because you deserve it 

But because I do!

fireworks

I woke Up today.

I woke up today an I felt super Blessed.

Every morning I wake up an go into My BabyGirls room,

 an kiss her an whisper how much I love her.

I didnt understand this overwhelming feeling?

I was showering an asking myself whats going on?

As im eatting breakfast i think . . 

My Bills are Paid

I got a Home

I got food

I got a car

We have clean clothes&Shoes

Most importantly we have eachother.

Im very Humble,an Thankful.

My daughter is My Everything

When I look into her eyes I feel alive.

I Know everything at this exact moment in my life is Happening for a Reason.

Gracie has Always been My #1 

From the day she was Born

I knew everything i Did from that day on 

Was going to be for her.

Gracie has made me into a woman

Gracie has taught me how to . .

Love

Forgive

Forget

Mostly to just have peace with Myself,

Thats i struggle with the most to find Peace.

That seems Impossible..