Dear Marissa.

So

Im laying in My daughters room just got off of work,
Longest 8 hours ever lol. Been up since 4am. Its now 4pm.
Lol anyways so were watching Hercules,an I just had this thought if I could write a Letter now for Myself when I became 10 what would it say? OK Between 10-13.
It would Start Like this . .


Dear Marissa,
Your Very Beautiful,Smart,someone loves you. an Despite the way your growing up the things you have to See an Hear on a daily Basis,you won't turn out like that.
 i just want to let you know it doesn't get easier,but lucky for you,your a very tuff Mama,
you have to Constantly Remind your self that you are not your Mom or Dad.
You are better than your parents,Speaking of Mama;
you will soon experience your First child,an though you might struggle because you don't have a Role model Mother you won't Fail.
Your going to be a Amazing Mother.
Marissa Your Struggle is going to make you who you are for the BEST.
 the Mother your about to become, an the Wife you will be down the line,your going to have to make many Sacrifices, an become a Very Different person.

Your Very Caring,you have the Biggest Heart an always tend to help people.
But you need to know that later in your life you an your family (Gracie,an My Husband)
Is what Matters. Yes your heart is going to ache but Realize that you can't change anyone.
An you have to live your life,its time.

You have a Very Hard Childhood,actually you never really experience the true meaning of Child hood,but once your grown you will be a Successful hard working Mother an wife.
All Because your Struggle Made you want more for your Family,

Never Give up on Yourself Or your Children&Husband.

#2 poop? No #2 Baby💞

YES!! 
Hubby an I want More Children, though we want to work an Focus on our marriage an build a strong Empire for our Kids. We are planning for a Baby but Honestly Only god knows when your Ready. I have Butterflies for My Husband to Experience Fatherhood,yes he's a Step Dad ,I just can't wait for the whole Pregnancy Stage an Labor an Delivery. I'm so Much more educated An Ready,Gracie would love a Sibling.
Gracie is older now so she can be so Involved👪

YES we're Trying for Baby #2💁🐒👪
But were Also Focusing on Our life,Marriage, Jobs, An Gracie👗.
So we will Just Leave it there 👑.

What to Expect when your Expecting? ⌚.

Civil.

When it comes to sharing My Pregnancy story I feel like a lot of moms let out a lot of personal feelings an stay bitter towards there situation if it didn't go the way they expected,
Not everyone stays with their Child's Father,An My Personal Opinion on that,is..
It is what it is, things DO Happen you just got to Pick your self up an Move on an Be the best parents you can be, Despite your Situation with the Mother or Father you put all that aside an Be parents. I knew My Daughters Dad for about 3 years we were more of a Fling when it was Convenient for us. Its Really Complicated My Daughters Dad is 7 years older than me we lived different lives,when I became pregnant I think it caught us both by surprise an we both reacted differently.
I knew In My Heart once I had this Baby it was going to Be Gracie an I forever,
I didn't plan on her having her father,because I Never Did.... A Sad Fact; most the time when us Young Teens become pregnant we will repeat what we see when it comes to parenting,if our fathers weren't there that seems almost natural.
Growing up I NEVER wanted to be wrong,I was Always Right!
Now being 20 I can Admit My Faults an Where i did Parent Wrong,I Tried to parent with With  all the Anger, Confusion an Hurt that was in My Life at the time.
From No Visits to Weekend vists ,to Court orders,Arguing Constantly it became part of My daily life. We Couldn't Speak about ANYTHING with out Arguing,it seemed impossible to even think of Co-parenting, little did I know it was about to get more Complicated, So Gracie's Dad told me about his Girlfriend,(Whom has a Son,but not from Gracie's Dad) 
I was like um no my daughter isn't going around Her or her Son. I didn't like the fact of some other woman playing Mommy with MY Daughter,Gracie's Dads Family Tended to Play us Against Each other  99% of the time I believe all of our families were to involved,
      So 4 years Later Here we Are We Get along Fine,We Co-parent when I say Co-parent I just mean were able to be civil around Each other,so when Gracie does see her Dad she doesn't see us Arguing or always stressed . 
Gracies Dad has 2 other little Girls an a Step son. Gracie sees them when we have time since we all work an live in different towns.
I'm now Married an she has a wonderful Daddy Here at Home who loves an cares for her.
Being a Blended Family isn't easy it will NOT happen over Night it took us 4 Years. But its well worth it.. Because at the end of the day The only person who matters is Gracie.
So be Wonderful Parent an Always Strive to make things right,Not for you but for your Children.



Till Next time xoxo Marissa
😘 

TRY to Explain Your Bond.

Try to Explain YOUR BOND

As Parents we have to Remeber to cherish all the Little moments an to Embrace what our Children do.

When My daughter shows her Fierce,Sassy Attitude off i try to understand the person that she will become.

.BONDS that are Unbreakable.

To try to explain the bond i have with My Daughter seems impossible,i knew from the moment I found out i was pregnant i was going to Experience an Endure More than Just life its self.

I was 15 when i found out i was Pregnant an i was 16 when i gave Birth,of course when you become pregnant you wonder about Gender an names? well at 13 weeks i found out i was pregnant with a Little Girl,at 18 weeks doctors Confirmed she was a Girl. Gracie...

Gracie would be My Daughters name,an Never have i felt a Swoon of emotions bottled up inside of me. I often think,wow i have a little Girl inside of me an Her whole life depends on me,ive never felt so much responsiblity an so much emotions in my life.

Little did i know . . . . this was Just the Start.

 I was a little Nervous........ I didn't know what to Expect......

But once They Handing me this Little Girl I knew for the Rest of My life all that would Matter is HER.

I Never believed in love at first sight until I saw Gracie, the Look in Her eyes,Her New Baby Smell,her Tiny little fingers an toes i couldn't get over or comprehend how in LOVE i was with her..

I can't explain My love for her,Try to imagine all the water in the oceans an weigh it.

Than Multiply it by all the Beach Sand in the world.I'm not sure if there are words that can explain all My feelings for My Child,its Undescribable.

Finding Myself.

(Sometimes I feel we tend to get so lost an Caught up in technology, let'sface it... Its takes us to Another world that we never knew existed.
Instead of Talking we text,some aren't even capable of holding a Sentence because we loose our self's in the technology world.)
Sometimes I loose my self in My own thoughts at night.
Ever have one those nights where you tune out the whole universe, aka "ME TIME"




 An I knew at that Exact moment I knew forever my whole life would change. I knew everything i did would affect her in every way,I knew that I had to give her more than life its self.
When I held Gracie it hit me so hard that it was almost Natural,
I felt the love in my Soul for this little girl,I felt all these weird emotions an I knew it was LOVE.
So this is what love feels like,
My Daughter brings emotions out I never knew I had.
She shows me I have power I never knew I had.
I discovered My self because of My daughter .

Happy Wife Happy Life.

I always thought being a Married was to Cliche,
That The perfect Man didn't exist ,there had to be More to the Fairy tales.
Wasn't till i met my prince charming....
Richard an I just suddenly Happen, we just clicked very fast an I knew from the moment
I saw his Big Light Brown eyes,I knew I wanted to spend the rest of My life with him.
How do these feelings just Suddenly accure?
How do you know you Want to spend your whole life with someone..
These are all the questions I asked Myself..
I'm a 20 year old Mother of a 4 year old an I tell my self.
"When you know you know,you know??"
I Became Mrs.Lopez
Mrs.
We're a Blended Family..

Normal Life.....

A Normal life seems is Great Right about now,
Never the less that's never going Going to happen.
Is there even such thing as a Perfect life??