being at peace,

 

My Mind Wonders at night an gets lost in the thoughts of what you are doing? 

Did you get to eat?

The things you do just to make ends meet,

I pray that God, keeps you warm an always protects you from the storms.

I really haven't known who you are for quite a while,

But I try to act tough so I force this fake smile.

I want My Mother Back!

You love someone else way more than me,Her name is Crystal Meth and I don't think she'll ever set you free,

I want My Mother Back!

She's had you in her hands for about 10 years,But all of those years are nothing compared to my fear.

I want My Mother Back!

Fear of you lying

Fear of you dying

Fear of having so much faith in you and just being left crying.

I want My Mother Back!

You wrote me letters when i was growing up,promising me you would change,but some how ,some way, you are just set in your own ways.

I want My Mother back!

You've told me to my face that it was drugs over me,

Even that wasn't enough to make me see.

I want My Mother Back!

When you are clean,You give me so much hope, then tomorrow it's the same ole' dope phen.

I want My Mother Back!

Everything i say This comes from my heart and every word of it's true,im not sure how to express my self to you so ill just write My soul out to you,like ol times,

I want My Mother back!

I do thank you so much for one thing,Thank you for showing me how important a good mother should be. 

And to never show my children the pain that you showed me.

"but i love you mom.

Don't get me wrong mom, i do love you,an i thank you for being the best mom You Possibly could be.

"I still love you.

But today I officially set myself free,Because I know there's a stronger woman in me.

I love you mom.

parenting,123

Co-Parenting obviously isnt for everyone.

I thought i had this whole parenting ordeal down,but im constantly learning new things everyday.

One thing that My Daughter has taught me is to be Patient, Kind,&Still.

I've learned to let things play out,not in My timing But in our gods timing.

On New Years of 2013 i told Myself,that its not about ME,Dispite how i feel towards Gracies dad its still her Dad.

So i chose to put everything aside, i chose to give him that chance, by this time we were back in forth in the court system fighting custody,visitation, an Child support. 

Things always just seem to fall off with her dad,we argued about everything, 

From Gossip to how we Parent Gracie. 

As time passed i fought for Full sole,physical custody an i won .

So lets Fast foward,

Gracies Dad saw her a few months ago here in town,for about 2 hours.

Than him an his Family moved to the next town over,i still offered visitations,with the understanding that being consistent is what is needed for our daughter.

Somewhere in between our daily lifes he fell off,

Now granted we both work an our schedule was different i always made time if he would,but he never,( now with me having custody,i legally dont have to let him visit, see,or talk with gracie but i choose to.)

Well i tried to.

No calls,

No visits,

No text messages? 

Nothing. 

Gracies dad just stopped.

To be exact, most of the time our communication went through his Girlfriend. 

Why?

I don't know. 

Alot of the reason why Gracies Dad an i did not get along is because. .

I don't think he ever wanted to have a child with me,he didn't have no interest, nor intentions on being her Father considering that we were never in a relationship, we were never serious about eachother, a simple 2 year fling turned into "your in my life forever."

Yes it can be very hard 99.99% of the time because as a Mother i hate to see him do this to our daughter,i hate that he gave up on his first child like that.

But in all Honesty, i believe everything happens for a reason ..

 i no longer dwell on what can't be changed.

I do not talk bad about her dad,because my daughter sees things for her self,

My Daughter knows who is here an whos not.

My Daughter will find out when shes old enough, why her Dad an His family is Not in her life.

I don't have to negatively speak on her Dad,his actions are speaking louder than My words ever will.

Gracie might not have her Biological dad in her life, but My Husband has been there for Gracie when she needed a daddy,Gracie is turning 5 years old! Shes growing up!

Our Families love an care for her more than anyone can imagine, an when the time comes i will not lie to her about who her Dad an who her FATHER is.

Domestic Violence,

This brought me to tears,

Hearing this little girl cry for help an screaming because her mom is being abused! 

I remember as a child growing up i seen alot of Domestic violence an would scream for My neighbors help an No one would help Us! No one called the police!

It was a regular thing for our household to go through this!

I remember i couldnt wait till i was old enough to move out,an never have to hear the sounds of My Mothers Screaming or see the vicious men slamming there fist against her!

http://goingviralposts.net/hard-listen-6-year-old-girl-call-911-not-cry/